The business world is filled to the brim with delicate egos. We like to pretend it’s confidence but it’s actually compensation, more often than not for insecurities buried somewhere deep beneath titles and badges.

Take a glance on social media and you’ll see it for yourself. Over-compensating for insecurities with inflated claims of making ‘X amount of money’ or achieving the completely unachievable; ‘make 100k in 1 month after signing up to my course.’

Nonsense. Brag after claim with not a shred of legitimate evidence. Let’s be honest, the types to make such brags are the types to chase titles without putting in the work….sorry Mr CEO of a company with no employees…

You’d be wise to tread lightly if you want to be successful, working for someone else or alongside egos of this particularly sour flavour.

There’s a reason the phrase, ‘keep your head down and work hard,’ exists and it’s to encourage you to comply and not complain.

It enables the narcissistic types that are often found in positions of power or the centre of the public eye, it means they can keep doing what they do.

I’m normally the type to speak out, which might not surprise you too much and as a consequence have been labelled a ‘troublemaker.’ To be completely honest, I’d sooner be that than stand by and watch people get victimised at work or worse still, be the guy doing it. That’s not the way to adult these days, at least not responsibly and respectfully.

If you want to make it as an employee, follow these rules.

Be a drone, not a queen:

Blindly obey every instruction, no matter how vague and ridiculous they may be. Management have superior minds so whatever you do, don’t engage your limbic system, we don’t need to know how you feel about anything.

Years ago, I was working at a company that was struggling to bring in business. Bizarrely, they were reliant on sending out leaflets and promotional packs in the mail and sending the same database endless email newsletters they never signed up for and attending what appeared to be randomly selected events to attend. They didn’t even have any contact names, it was a consistent barrage of junk email and mail that meant nothing to nobody.

In the first few weeks, I’d built a couple of simple strategies using direct/cold email marketing and content to be shared on social media. Within weeks we’d gone from flatlining to 5 enquiries. It’s not astronomical but just a simple change can make all the difference.

This didn’t go down well with the sales director or sales managers as they’d been struggling for such a long time (or not doing work 🤷🏼‍♂️) The rest of the company thought I was a hero because they’d never seen anything like it and genuinely thought I’d shown them hope where they saw certain demise.

All I did is what most sales people do and if you are one, you’ll know it’s 101 stuff. I found the right contacts and communicated with them effectively.

My experience from that point onwards was incredibly negative and I’d be torn to shreds by the sales team every week for making them look bad, which wasn’t my intention, I wanted them to hit target and get some commission. Anything and everything I did was a problem and rather than using it to their advantage, they felt insecure and undermined.

There can be only 1 queen and don’t you ever forget it.

Nod along to terrible management decisions

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘we’ve always done it this way,’?

It’s an arrogance that comes from business owners and management that are short of fresh ideas or feel uncomfortable that the world keeps spinning with every birthday that comes.

They’re telling you they don’t know what to do without saying it.

If anything, it’s a sign of a business that’s doomed to fail because any strategy should be adaptive, whether it’s in logistics, marketing, sales, HR, we need to move with the times. You know that, I know that but why don’t they?

‘You need to go back to work from the office. We’re not doing this work from home sh*t any longer, you’re letting it slip and some of you aren’t being productive.’

‘We’re the second highest performing office in the country, with more revenue than last year. How are we letting it slip?’

‘Some of you let your laptops go on standby and aren’t as productive as you should be. We need to go back to the office to be productive.’

‘Do you have any data to support that?’

Of course they didn’t have any data to support it and the guy who wanted employees back in the office was the office manager. I suppose he felt some insecurity as he wouldn’t have an office to manage?

You know the type that sits on an ivory throne, stomps around like a starved T-rex hunting for easy snacks, ‘works’ in a glass office and summons employees one by one so when he goes home he can tell his wife what an alpha he is(n’t)?

Less management, more enablement. Less ego, more team.

Do not dissent

The absence of logic is never far from the board room. I mostly work in marketing but I prefer ‘communications’ as it feels less vague and a little more important too. The frequent offenders who offered pointless points were finance directors. It’s not a dig but a pattern I’d noticed a few times over.

This was a genuine suggestion in a sales and marketing meeting that the finance director insisted on leading:

‘we can’t just be contacting hairdressers or corner shops, this is an enterprise service that costs thousands a month.’

‘Cheers Steve, the fact you think all 6 of us in the marketing team have been contacting hairdressers and corner shops demonstrates how uninformed you are about our strategy.’ 🙄

To suggest that a stupid point is stupid when it comes from an authority is known as ‘dissent,’ management stick together forming that consensus and you it might well be labelled as such when they send snarky emails later that day. It doesn’t even matter how gently you resist, the fact that you have an alternate idea is offensive because you’re not in charge.

Reality is, some delicate specimen had his ego rocked as he’s so used to the world nodding along with his ideas that it kicked him deep in the feels. He holds the keys to the castle, rightly or wrongly and whatever you say is incorrect just because.

Don’t be dramatic

By that I mean ‘don’t you dare stand up for yourself,’ and ‘don’t have boundaries.’

Enter Feely Phil who heads up the commercial team, always creeping, constantly lurking and crossing boundaries with unsuspecting female personnel. He noticed Beckie leant over a desk to help Colin with his work and somehow confused it with an invitation to pat her bum with his slimy, Brylcreem mitts and followed through with a comment about her purpose on the team.

She’s embarrassed and tells him

‘Keep your hands to yourself and don’t degrade me in front of my colleagues,’

and Feely Phil responds with the all too predictable,

‘stop being so dramatic, it’s only a joke.’

1, gaslighting is a good sign you’re dealing with a narc and 2, even more when it involves sexual assault and degradation. In such circumstances it’s unlikely that team mates will stand up to support you, or Beckie because they know the score; you’re not allowed boundaries and you’re not allowed self respect.

There isn’t an argument against this but those who stand up for themselves tend to find they’re the subject of further bullying or harassment and end up leaving either willingly or because they become a big risk to the company.

You’re somehow accountable for their behaviour.

Don’t be negative

Negative is a common term in business and it’s used to silence any complaint or challenge. It’s a great sign that management have neither empathy nor the skills to help their team achieve what they need to and it’s often used to scapegoat particular employees who may have an alternate voice.

I remember a time when I was referred to as negative for suggesting an alternate approach that everyone could take part in, for the better of the team. I also remember a time when a sales manager was bullying a colleague to the point that they left the business. The lady had a lot of anxiety and a relative had recently passed away. She handed in her notice and said she was leaving to which the narc in charge said ‘good, it’s about time too you’ve spent the past fortnight moping.’

I left, several others did too and they must have been rinsed for about 100k in recruitment fees to recover from it. The guy still works there though.

When it came to my departure, a director mentioned in a meeting, ‘I’m coming down there to deal with this negativity once and for all,’ which she later expanded on as me and my negative behaviour. The behaviour she was referring to was in fact highlighting that we had a bullying problem with one of the sales managers. How very inconvenient when he’s a ‘top biller.’ He achieved such a status by bullying people into leaving and stealing their customers.

Just comply, nod along and smile back at them.

To all you troublemakers

The world was built to enable a few and disable many others. These power structures stand in all areas of life from the minor through to business teams and politics.

Questioning business decisions is something I totally approve of and the more diverse and inclusive a team is, the deeper understanding it will have of a wider society. More perspectives are better than a single ego parading itself around the office. Failing to embrace change is what will ultimately kill a business. Good.

I’d always encourage you to go your own way, strategically, carefully and considering your financial situation. Great business ideas often come from the failings of others, it’s why I started mine. There were so many bad approaches, mismanagement of data and general cluelessness that it presented a huge opportunity for me and still does.

Outside of business, disobedience is the only way to bring about change.

Whatever it is that you want from the world and the short time you’re alive, you probably won’t get it by following the rules and nodding along. What is it they say?

‘Learn the rules like a pro so you can break them like an artist.’

The mark is yours to leave.